Ever since i was litttle i have worried what i looked like, however I started to worry more about the way i look when i hit high school. Where i realised my natural self was not what people wanted to see. I was picked on for the way my hair was, beacuse it was long thick and curly. People would make jokes and call me afro hair or frizzy. Thats when i started to straigten my hair or cut it so it was easy to make less curly. i felt then people would leave me more alone and i started being excepted. Also i started wearing much more makeup. I look back now and think i must have looked like a clown but at the time i did it to fit in. This was not the real me.
I would be teased aswell about having hair arms or people would say id have a "tash" as they would call it.. which corsed me to shave most of my body hair off including my arms. After that people didnt judge me so much. I had a whole group of new friends. i started to wear what everyone els is wearing. i totally rechanged myself. But i was never happy ive gone though so many hair styles in a short space of time.. I have never felt totally comftable in myslef.
Then i had some kind of break thought. a change of view in how i see myself.. i started looking last year on how people recreate themself to fit to socitey, and it was amazing what i found. In most cultures people recreated themself to fit in or be more "beautiful".
From Chineese foot binding to neck steching in Tribes!.. Do they do it for the same reason as us? or not?
Then i looked at people who have plastic surgery to become "perfect" (whatever that is?) they had so much plastic surgery it was unreal! but yet still was not happy with themself?
There is many artist that deal with this idea.. Ive looked at Cindy Sherman, Jenny Saville, Hannah Wilike, Lynn Hershman and Jillian Wearing. These artist have really inspired me with the ideas they have had.
Thats when it hit me! Why do i do this? Become someone or something im not?
Im now trying to grow my hair back long and thick! i wear what i feel happy in.. whether its in fashion or not.
I somtimes even let the hair grow back on my arms ( but dont want to push it to far)
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